You know, its funny how age can feel like a limitless playground. My nan, Martha, only became a proper grandma when she was 44, and the moment that title stuck, she really owned it. She never started wandering around in a frilly scarf with a cane even in her later years she kept herself tidy and dignified. I remember one rainy afternoon we sewn a bright red dress together for a little doll. I was buzzing with excitement and asked if shed ever want something like that herself. She laughed and said, Oh, love, Im a grandma already! That line, Im a grandma, seemed to frame everything for her. As soon as her first grandchild arrived, she slipped neatly into the role society had drawn for her and lived that way for the rest of her life just like almost every woman I know around her.
These days I hear the 40plus crowd complaining about how much life has thrown at them and how tough it is to navigate constant change. Yet that very generation has smashed all those old boxes and expectations about age. Imagine for a second calling a woman in her early forties a grandma. Shes hardly a grandma yet; shes still a gorgeous young lady. Sure, shes not exactly in her teens, but she still sees herself as youthful, because her mindset is geared toward staying young, not the other way round.
I tried something similar a few days ago, and the results were instant! The doctor even gave me a cheeky nod. Nowadays you can barely guess a womans age just by looking, sometimes you need the whole context. Im often at this tiny café on a side street in Manchester. The barista, a petite, pretty girl named Poppy, already knows I take my flat white with a splash of oat milk, and we always exchange a few banterfilled lines. She looks like she just finished university. The other day I walked in and saw a giant bloke, almost two metres tall, standing next to her broadshouldered, the sort of lad youd call Tom. I wondered if he was her boyfriend, because Poppy is clearly the tiny one in the pair. He leaned over the counter, planted a kiss on her cheek, and then, in a deep voice, asked, Mum, could you spot me a few hundred pounds? If someone had told me that was his mums son, Id have been less surprised.
Whats brilliant about todays women is that they get to pick whatever look, vibe, or age feels right for them. One day theyre into braids and bikiniarea tattoos, the next theyre slipping on Louboutins and deepV dresses, then they might be in trainers and ripped jeans, or sporting lemonyellow blouses, narrow skirts and cute hats whatever the season calls for. And yes, red dresses, even minis with daring zipups down the back, are totally fine. No ones rolling their eyes or wagging a finger. If anyone does, she simply doesnt give a toss.
Theres an old saying, If youth knew and old age could but thats gone now. The middleaged crowd has wiped that phrase clean, like a bleach spot on a crisp tablecloth. We all know a lot, yet were still keen to act. This generation drifts between the old guard, who push away the changes, and the youngsters, who stare warily. Its a bit like a ship sailing on its own, thrilled by the ride.
Heres the biggest thing Ive realized lately, and I want to share it with you: age doesnt put a ceiling on possibilities; it actually expands them. We dont have to keep searching for ourselves because weve already found who we are. Now we can hone our craft or try new tricks in whatever makes us happy. Were no longer forced to mingle with everyone; instead we focus on keeping close the people who beat in sync with our own heart. We can afford the luxury of pleasant companionship instead of just the necessary small talk. In love and intimacy we aim for quality, knowing that numbers cant replace it, and we can give youth a solid hundred points extra.
We dont rush kids to grow up, because weve seen how fast that can happen. We try to soak up their childhood, filling it with the things we missed out on. Weve learned that money cant buy happiness, health, or loyalty, and that the road to a goal often matters more than the goal itself. If you cant enjoy the journey, the finish line wont bring you joy either. Weve all learned the hard way, felt how swiftly time flies, and now the canvas of our lives is ready for those tiny details and graceful strokes that turn a painter into a master and a painting into a masterpiece.
When you truly get that, you realize right now your options are endless. You could learn to dance, sing, play the harp, pick up a new language, go scuba diving, try horseback riding, ski, or rollerblade. You could blow glass, drive a car, paint festive baubles, paddle a kayak, design a mosaic, keep bees, splash colour on a playground, throw pottery, stitch beadwork or do embroidery, bake scrumptious cakes, ferment cabbage for sauerkraut, or make fresh pasta. You could travel and see with your own eyes what youve only heard about. You could get a dog, adopt a third cat, shoot your own short film, act on stage, move out to the countryside, or finally start that hobby youve been postponing for years. You could lose yourself in a brandnew novel, or welcome another baby into the family. Or you could simply wander alone along the park paths, letting the mist veil the world while sipping a hot chocolate latte or chamomile tea, savoring every sip, every autumn breeze, every breath of life.
The point is, we now understand time isnt infinite, so weve got to cherish these boundless years even more.
