The Mistake
Lillian stepped out of the lecture hall, and Philip was already hurrying toward her.
«Well? Did you pass?» he asked, his voice a mix of worry and admiration.
«Brilliant!» Lillian waved her grade book in front of him. «And you?»
«Well done! Never doubted you.» Philip winced slightly. «I got a bit muddled. A B. Fancy celebrating?»
Lillian lowered her eyes, hesitating.
«What, am I out of luck again?» Philip guessed.
«Sorry. Dennis is probably waiting for me already.»
«Right.» Philip sighed, disappointment plain in his voice. «Wheres my chance against the future star of medicine? At least let me walk you to the gates, since thats all Im getting?» He took her hand and tugged her toward the grand staircase.
The cast-iron steps hummed faintly underfoot. Lillian thought about how shed miss this placethe wide staircases, the old medical college with its lingering scent of formaldehyde and dusty textbooks, cool and dim even on the hottest days.
Philip pushed open the heavy door, and they stepped outside. Lillian spotted Dennis straight away by the gates, tall and clutching a bouquet. Her face burned.
«Tell me you love him,» Philip said, still holding her hand.
«He proposed.» She felt his fingers tighten.
«Ow!» she gasped.
«Sorry. Well, the heart wants what it wants,» he muttered, letting go.
«Lillian!» Dennis called from across the courtyard.
«Phil» she started.
«Go on. Dont keep the fiancé waiting,» Philip said bitterly.
She walked away, feeling his gaze on her back. It wasnt just the college shed miss, but him too. Shed grown used to him always being there, often without noticing, without appreciating it.
«I told you not to come,» she snapped as she reached Dennis.
«Dont be cross. I was worried.» He leaned in for a kiss, but she dodged it. Glancing back, she saw Philip was no longer by the door.
«Shall we go? Mums expecting us for lunch. She wants to talk about the wedding Oh, these are for you.» Dennis handed her the flowers.
«I havent said yes yet,» Lillian reminded him.
«Mums found a lovely venue» he continued, as if she hadnt spoken.
Shed hoped to speak to Philip after graduation, but he never showed.
«Wheres Samuels?» she asked his friend, Michael.
«He collected his diploma yesterday and left for London. Some relative offered him work. Lucky sod.»
Lillian nearly cried. There was no joy in celebrating, and once the ceremony ended, she went straight home. She was angry at Philip. How could he leave without telling her? After all his talk of love?
Neither of them called. Pride kept them silent. Two months later, Lillian married Dennis.
Seven years passed.
«Hello. Got a minute?» Lillian asked, stepping into the gynaecologists office. «Ugh. How do you work here? I hate that torture chair.»
«Lils! Come in. Perfect timingmy last appointment just left. How are you?»
They exchanged small talk, but Lillian kept glancing at the nurse by the instrument tray.
«Rose, you can go,» Olivia said, catching the hint.
«Youre not just visiting, are you? Finally expecting?» Olivia asked once they were alone.
«I wish. I need advice. Dennis and Iwell, nothings working. Honestly, everythings rotten. His mothers convinced its me. I ran some tests, but I dont want the full work-up at my local clinic. Too many gossips Can you help?» Lillian looked at her hopefully.
«Of course. Show me what youve got.»
Lillian placed a folder on the desk. Olivia studied it carefully.
«Well?» Lillian pressed.
«Minor irregularities, but otherwise fine. Youll need more tests. Who referred youSmithers? Has your husband been checked?»
«God, no. Wouldnt even consider it.»
«Right. Can you come back tomorrow? Eight sharp? Good. Lils, its so nice to see you. Now, tell me everything.»
«Whats to tell? A year ago, I caught Dennis in his office with his assistant. Wanted to divorce him then and there, but then the heavy artillery arrivedhis mother and mine. Talked me out of ruining the family over a silly fling. Can you believe it? Just a bit of fun, apparently. They sacked the assistant, of course, but things between us have been awful since.
Mum says all men stray eventually, no reason to make a fuss. That I just need a baby to fix everything. As if its all on me.»
The next day, Lillian returned for more tests.
«Well?» she asked, adjusting her blouse collar as she sat.
«See for yourself.» Olivia laid out the scans and results.
«Here. And here.» She pointed at faint shadows on the image.
«A tumour? But Ive been checked so many times» Lillian stared in horror. «Surgery?»
«Youre a doctoryou know the drill. Best do it in London. Listen, Ive got Samuels number. Hell help, get you to the right specialist. Ill call him now.» Olivia reached for her phone.
«Dont. Not yet. Ill do it myself,» Lillian whispered.
«Up to you. But dont wait.» She scribbled down the number. «Lils, Im so sorry its come to this»
Lillian walked home, trying to process it. She felt fine, aside from the odd backache. Not even thirty, and after this surgery, shed never have children. A sunny day, plans for the future, dreams of a babywas none of it meant to be? Surgery, chemo Why her? What had she done?
She wandered the city for hours, weighing her options. She wouldnt tell her parents yetno need to worry them. Shed say she was tired, take leave, and go to London.
By the time she got home, she was exhausted. Dennis was at his computer, as usual.
«Dennis» she called. «Dennis!»
«Hm?» He didnt look up.
«Are you hungry?»
«Dont interrupt. The datas not lining up,» he snapped.
Typical. Always busy, always buried in his spreadsheets and research. She didnt matter.
«Dennis, I need to go away for a bit. A fortnight, maybe longer. Are you listening?»
«Mhm,» he replied, still typing.
Good. No interrogation*where, why?* She made him coffee, reheated some leftovers, and left them on the desk. He grabbed a forkful without looking up. She sighed and went to bed.
That night, she tossed and turned. She heard Dennis undress, felt him climb in beside her.
«Did you say something earlier?» he asked.
She pretended to sleep.
Soon, his breathing steadied. She got up and went to the kitchen, staring out at the citytraffic lights blinking, the occasional headlight streaking past. Eventually, she crawled under the duvet and slept.
The next morning, she filed for unpaid leave, packed a small suitcase, and checked the fridge. Enough food for now. His mother would come and cook for him later.
She left at dawn, while Dennis still slept, leaving a brief note. London greeted her with noise and chaos. From the station, she called Philip. He answered almost immediately.
«Hi,» she said, forcing cheer.
She pulled the phone from her ear, checking the screen. Still connected.
«Phil? Can you hear me?»
«I can,» he said. «Lillian? I cant believe it. All these years I never expected»
«Neither did I. You once said if I ever needed help Well, I do.»
«Of course. Whats wrong?»
«Can we meet? I can come to your clinic.»
«Youre in London? Ill text the address. I just cant believe it.»
An hour later, Lillian peered into the doctors lounge.
«May I?»
«Lillian!» Philip stood, coming around the desk.
She studied him. Where had her eyes been before? Hed grown handsomer, more distinguished. Probably broken a few nurses hearts along the way.
«Sit down.» He gestured to the sofa. «Tea? Coffee?»
«Im here as a patient,» she said, taking the chair opposite.
Philip sobered instantly. «Go on.»
She slid a folder across the desk. «Look.»
He pored over the results, glancing at her between notes. She was oddly calm, but her hands trembledfrom nerves, from his nearness.
«Where are you staying?» he finally asked.
«Nowhere. Came straight from the train.»
«Your things? Left them at the station?»
«No. My suitcase is in the cloakroom.»
«Good. Lets get you a room. You must be exhausted. Theres a decent café downstairs if youre hungry. Rest, and Ill consult some colleagues. A nurse will come to admit you.»
«Phil, just tell me. Do I need surgery?»
«Too soon to say. Lets wait.»
More tests followed. Specialists, IVs, injections. Philip visited but avoided the subject. On the third day, a nurse came in. «Dr. Samuels wants to see you in the lounge.»
«Its bad, isnt it?» Lillian asked, sitting down. Her heart pounded; her thoughts spun.
Without a word, Philip placed the scans and reports before her.
«I cant focusthe words are swimming. Just tell me,» she begged, fingers twisting.
«Nothing to tell. Youre perfectly healthy,» he said, smiling.
«What? But the tumour» Her voice shook.
«There was no tumour. Just inflammation, misdiagnosed. Weve treated it with antibiotics. See for yourself. Its not fully cleared, but no surgery needed.»
«Im fine Fine,» she repeated, flipping through the papers. She looked up and burst into tears.
«Here. Should be celebrating, not crying.» He handed her a tissue.
«Its relief,» she sniffed. «I cant believe it. I saw it myself Thank you, Phil.»
«Dont thank me. Stay another three days to finish treatment. Call Dennisgive him the good news.»
She stopped crying, staring at him with reddened eyes.
«He doesnt know. I left without telling him why. No kids, his mother blamed me I started testing, and then Listen, any openings here for a GP?»
«You want to stay? Ill ask.» Hope flickered in his eyes.
«God, its unreal. Id already made peace with»
«Mistakes happen. You know that,» he said softly.
Three days later, Lillian returned home. She resigned from her clinic.
Her mother-in-law was waiting when she arrived.
«Had your fun?» the woman hissed. «Weve been frantic, and you waltz in like nothings wrong»
«I warned Dennis I was leaving,» Lillian began, but the tirade continuedshed get nothing in the divorce, she was a failed wife, barren
«Enough!» Lillian snapped. The woman fell silent. «Im fine. I can have children. Your sons the one who needs testing. You know it, dont you? Should I pack under supervision? Make sure I dont steal the silver?»
Her mother-in-law flushed, muttered, and stormed out.
Lillian visited her parents, announced she was leaving Dennis and moving to London. Ignoring her mothers protests, she walked out. That was that. Nothing held her here. No kids, no grudgesthe divorce would be quick.
Philip kept his word. He spoke to the hospital director, and Lillian was hired in the general practice. Like at university, he was nearby again. But only after the divorce did she return his affection.
«Will you marry me? Or do I still not stand a chance?» he asked one day.
«I made a mistake. I want to fix it. Just give me time. You left so suddenly back then. I never got to say I didnt agree to marry Dennis. My mother pushed»
«I was so hurt»
A year later, Lillian married Philip and gave birth to a healthy son.
Well, mistakes happennot just in life, but in medicine too. And sometimes, the greatest mistake is not the misdiagnosis, but the years spent believing it was true.
