13May
I watched Lucy from across the playroom and felt a pang of envy. She was being taken out of the childrens home today. Her new mum and dad were already sorting the paperwork, and at last she would have a proper family. Lucy kept describing the wonderful things shed do with themvisiting the zoo, which Ive never been to, watching a puppet show where she claimed to have seen a real witch, and tasting apricot jam with the pits still in it.
Im only five. As far back as I can remember Ive lived in the childrens home. New faces drift in and out all the time. When Alex disappeared, I asked Mrs. Margaret, Wheres Alex gone? She sighed and said, Hes gone home to his family. I pressed, What does family even mean? She answered gently, Its a place where youre always welcomed and loved. I asked, Wheres my family? She just looked at me sadly and said nothing.
From that day I stopped asking anyone about families. I realised it was something precious, something I desperately needed.
A couple of days later Lucy vanished again, only to return in a beautiful dress, her hair done up, clutching a brandnew doll. I burst into tearsno one had ever taken me, and I thought I was completely unwanted.
Mrs. Margaret entered then, carrying a sweater and a pair of trousers, and said, Sam, change into these, weve got visitors coming soon.
Visitors? I asked, bewildered. Who?
They want to meet you.
I slipped into the clothes, sat on the garden bench and waited. Soon Mrs. Margaret took my hand and led me to a small sitting room where a tall bearded man and a petite, delicate woman were waiting. The woman smelled faintly of roses, and I imagined she could be a rose herself. Her eyes were large, her lashes thick.
Hello, she said warmly. Im Alice. And you are?
Sam, I replied, feeling small. Who are you?
Wed like to be your friends, Alice said, and we could really use your help.
What kind of help? I asked, glancing at the man.
The man crouched down, his voice soft. Im Dave. Weve heard youre a good drawer. Could you paint a robot for us?
Sure, I said earnestly. What sort of robot?
Dave fetched a bright, newlyboxed robot from a sackits metal gleamed in the sunlight streaming through the window. It reminded me of Optimus Prime, the leader of the Transformers.
You like him? Dave asked.
Very much, I replied, eyes wide.
Take the robot and the pencils, then draw him for us. While youre at it, wed love to chat like old friends.
We spent the next hour talking about everything I liked or disliked. I talked about my wornout boots, my small bed, the toys Id seen in the home. Alice kept holding my hand, and Dave patted my head.
Soon Mrs. Margaret called, Sam, dinners ready.
Victor, a friendly neighbour, came over, shook my hand and said, Well be back in a week; youll have time to finish the picture, right?
Will you really come? I asked.
Of course, Alice answered, hugging me tightly until my little bones clicked. Tears welled in her eyes.
Why are you crying? I asked.
Just a speck of dust in my eye, she whispered.
After dinner I raced back to the room with the robot, opened the box and marveled at how its limbs moved and its head turned. I opened my sketchbook and began to draw.
Just then a pair of older boys from the upstairs group barged in.
Whoa, give it here, shouted one, grabbing the robot and tossing it up.
Its not mine! I shouted back.
Its ours now, the other laughed.
I lunged for the robot, we tussled, and the plastic snappedonly a leg stayed in my hands. I sobbed, bitterness flooding me, and tried to pull the remaining piece away. The boy flung the broken bits at my face; blood spurted from my nose. Mrs. Margaret rushed in, took me to the bathroom, rinsed my face and pressed a cotton pad to my nose.
Youre not ashamed, are you? she said softly. We all share toys here. The robots ruined now.
It wasnt mine, I sniffed, they only let me borrow it to draw.
She smiled and said, Then draw.
I wondered how I could draw something broken, but I set the robot against the wall, propped its leg, and began. By the time everyone was called to bed, I had finished one picture. The next day I drew two more, then another, until the whole sketchbook was filled with robots.
I asked Mrs. Margaret, Is it soon? Will Alice and Dave come?
She looked at me sadly and said, A weeks passed, and they probably wont.
Tears rolled down my cheeksI thought it was because Id broken the robot. I stayed awake most of the night, replaying the events, the broken robot, Dave, Alice, until dawn finally brought sleep.
The following morning Mrs. Margaret entered with a smile, Get dressed, Sam. Someones here.
Who? I asked.
Youll see.
I opened the door to find Dave and Alice standing there.
Hello, Alice said, weve come for you.
Where to? I asked, confused.
You talked about the zoo, didnt you? Want to go?
I do, I whispered, tears again.
Dave knelt beside me, Whats wrong?
Ill be right back, I replied, grabbing my sketchbook and the broken robot.
Here, I said, offering the limp piece, Im sorry, this is whats left.
Dave chuckled, Thats our robotweve gifted it to you.
I handed him my sketchbook. Look, Ive drawn them.
Brilliant, he said, admiring the pages, exactly what we need. Youre a wonderful artist. Dont worry about the robot; Ill fix it.
Now lets head to the zoo, Alice announced, helping me into my coat.
At the zoo I was amazedso many animals, birds fluttering everywhere. I felt lost for where to look first, but the cheeky monkeys stole my heart; they swung from branches and chattered while munching bananas, making me laugh out loud.
Alice, would you like to have me over to your place? Dave asked later.
Yes, I answered.
When they arrived at their flat, I hesitated at the door.
Come in, no need to be shy, Dave said.
Alice took my hand and led me inside. The walls were covered in star maps, the bed was shaped like a little car, toys lined the shelves.
Who lives here? I asked.
Alice and Dave sat on the floor, each holding one of my hands. Dave said, Sam, we want you to live with us. This is your room, the toys are yours, the bed is yours. If youre happy, stay with us forever.
Forever? I repeated, Youre taking me into your family?
Yes, Alice whispered, were adopting you.
But Im a stranger, I broke the robot
Youre not a stranger, Alice said softly, youre our son.
Tears welled up again, but this time they were happy. I nodded, Ill behave well.
Dave and Alice lifted me up, hugged me, and kissed my forehead. For the first time I truly felt I belonged, that I had a family of my own.
