Evelyn Harper slammed my shopping bag on the kitchen counter and shouted, You bought the wrong flour again! I told you, topgrade only! Topgrade!
I, Emily Clarke, was standing there trying not to lose my temper.
Evelyn, the shop only had the standard flour. The premium one was out of stock.
Then you should’ve gone to another store! she snatched the bag of flour from my hands. You cant bake proper pies with this stuff!
Ill manage. I always bake with the regular kind.
I use the premium, and Tom loves my pies. Yours are just tolerated.
I bit my lip, staying silent. Today I had to pick Mum up from the hospital, no room for nerves.
Fine, Ill buy the right flour tomorrow.
Tomorrow! And what about today? Do you want our son to go without pies?
Ill make something with what we have.
No, Ill do it myself. You go rest.
Evelyn deliberately tied on her apron and started pulling out dishes, while I slipped out of the kitchen.
Wed been sharing the flat for six months. Evelyn moved in after breaking her leg; Tom insisted she couldnt stay alone and promised it was only temporary, a month or two.
Six months later her leg was fine, but shed never planned on leaving. She took our only bedroom, and Tom and I squeezed onto the pullout sofa in the living room. Our twobedroom council flat felt cramped all the time.
I checked my phone Mums discharge was at four, I had to be quick. I walked into the lounge where Tom was glued to his laptop.
Tom, Im taking Mum home. Youll be here?
Yeah, Im not going anywhere.
Can you come with me? Itll be hard for her to get up alone.
Emily, Ive got a deadline tomorrow.
Alright, I sighed. Ill manage on my own.
I drove to the hospital. Mum looked tired but relieved.
Finally back home, she said, gathering her things. Im so fed up with these walls.
Mum, how are you feeling?
Fine. Doctors say Im okay. Just need rest and my meds on time.
We got to the car, I helped her into the passenger seat, loaded the bags.
Emily, are you sure Toms okay with this? I could go to Aunt Janes place she offered.
Mum, whos Jane? She lives on the other side of town, has three kids. Youll stay with us until youre stronger.
What about Evelyn?
I gripped the steering wheel.
Mum, this is my flat. Im buying it outright before we marry. Ill decide who lives here.
Mum sighed but didnt argue.
Back at the flat, I helped Mum up the stairs to the fourth floor, opened the door and froze.
Right by the entrance, my stuff was piled in the hallway coats, shoes, cosmetics, books, a whole mess. A few kids from downstairs were already rummaging through the boxes.
Whats this? Mum whispered.
I stepped inside, and there was Evelyn in the kitchen, drying her hands.
Oh, youre back. Grab your things, or youll block the hallway.
You you put my stuff out here?
Whats the problem? she said, eyes flat. I cleared some space. Your mum will be living here, we need room for her.
You couldve at least told me!
Why bother? You said this is your flat, so do what you like. I just helped tidy the cupboard.
I felt my blood boil.
You threw my personal belongings into the hallway!
I didnt throw them, I moved them. Theres a difference.
What difference? The neighbours are looking, the kids are digging through my things!
Then grab them quickly.
Mum stood in the hallway, pale.
Emily, maybe I should really go to Aunt Jane
No! I turned to Mum. Youre not going anywhere. Lets get your things back and sort this out.
I went back to the hallway and started gathering my clothes, hands shaking with anger and humiliation. Lidia, the neighbour from the third floor, passed by and asked, Whats happened, Emily?
Everythings fine, Mrs. Patel, I forced a smile.
I hauled the boxes back inside. Mum helped, though it was hard for her. Evelyn was watching TV in the lounge as if nothing had happened.
Wheres Tom? I asked.
Out to the shop. Ran out of flour.
I led Mum to the old bedroom, now Evelyns territory.
Mum, sit down, Ill get you a cuppa.
Emily, where will I sleep? All this is Evelyns stuff.
Mum will move to the lounge. Thatll be her room now.
I walked back to the kitchen. Evelyn was there, her face sour.
How long are you planning to keep my mother here?
As long as needed.
And me? On the sofa?
You can go back to your own flat. Your legs healed, you walk fine.
She stared at me, the tension thick.
So youre kicking me out?
Im not kicking you out. Im just reminding you that this was supposed to be temporary. Its been six months.
Oh, I see! You can look after your mother, but not mine!
I have my own flat, thank you. My mother just had surgery, she needs care.
I need care too! My blood pressures all over the place!
Then hire a carer.
On what money? My pension is tiny!
On the same money my mum would use if you threw her out.
We were locked in a stare when Tom burst in with the grocery bags.
Hey! Got the flour, he said cheerfully, then stopped dead when he saw the faces. Whats going on?
Your mum put my things in the hallway, I said flatly.
Tom looked at Evelyn.
Mum, is that true?
Well, I just cleared space for her mum, Evelyn replied innocently. Wanted to help.
Helped, I said, smirking. Now the whole building is gossiping about how my motherinlaw evicted me.
Emily, she didnt mean any harm, Tom tried to smile. Just didnt think it through.
You didnt think? She dumped my clothes, cosmetics, books! Kids are looking, neighbours are staring! Thats more than didnt think.
Tom grunted, Youre overreacting.
What?
My mum was just trying to do what she thought was best.
I felt like I was going to choke on my own frustration.
Tom, seriously? She put my stuff out there and you say Im overreacting?
Shes old, Emily. Shes not trying to be cruel.
Is she trying to kick my mum out because shes just had surgery?
No, Im not suggesting that. Your mum could stay with her sister.
I froze.
So youre saying my sick mother should go live elsewhere so your healthy mother can stay here?
Im not saying that. Its just logicalyour mum has a sister, mine doesnt.
Your mum has her own flat!
The lifts broken, she cant get to the fifth floor.
Were on the fourth floor, no lift either!
But Mums already used to it.
I stared at Tom for a long moment. Youre siding with her.
Im not taking sides. Im just trying to find a compromise.
A compromise means both of us give a little. Youre only asking me to give up everything.
Evelyn interjected, Tom, tell her Im the lady of the house. Im your mother, shes just the wife. Wives come and go, mothers stay.
Enough, Mum, Tom winced.
I gave you life, fed you, raised you! And what did you do? Turn my flat into a trophy!
Evelyn, I bought this flat with my own money, before we even married, I said coldly. Its mine.
Oh, so now youll scold my husband?
Im not scolding, Im stating facts.
Tom, do you hear this? Shes telling you the flat isnt yours!
Tom rubbed his face, exhausted. Emily, lets talk tonight when were all calmer. Right now were all heated.
Theres nothing to discuss, I said, pulling out my phone. My mum stays. Either your mum moves to the lounge or goes back to her own flat.
Its not an ultimatum, Tom replied. Its just how I see my home.
Its my home, Tom. I decide who lives here.
I walked to the bedroom where Mum lay with her eyes closed.
Mum, how are you?
Fine, love. My head hurts a bit.
Ill get you a pill. Rest now.
Mum, maybe I should really go to Aunt Janes?
No, love. The problem is Evelyn, not you. She thinks she runs the place, but this is my flat, and I set the rules.
That night Tom and I collapsed on the sofa in the lounge. Evelyn slammed the bedroom door for effect.
Emily, lets think this through, Tom tried to hug me, but I pulled away.
Think about what?
Maybe both mums can live here? One in the lounge, one in the bedroom.
And where do we sleep?
This is temporary, right?
Your mums been here six months. Thats not temporary.
No, another month or two.
No. Either she leaves, or I do.
Tom sat up hard. Where are you going?
Back to my mums flat. Its cramped too, but at least theres no Evelyn.
Youre crazy, I snapped. Youre my husband, why are you defending your mother over me?
Im not defending anyone! I just dont want to hurt her!
What about me? She dumped my stuff in the hallway, embarrassed me in front of the neighbours, and you say Im overreacting!
What do you want from me? Tom asked quietly.
Just stand with me. Tell Evelyn this cant happen again.
He was silent for a moment. Alright. Ill talk to her tomorrow.
Really?
Yes. Ill ask her to move out.
Relief washed over me. Maybe it wasnt lost yet.
The next morning the flat was noisy Tom and Evelyn arguing.
Mum, you have to go back to your flat, Tom said.
Tom, youre kicking me out?
Im not kicking you out. Its just cramped, and you have your own place.
But I feel alone, scared!
You lived here fifteen years after your husband died.
Im getting old, I need support!
Ill visit each week, help with shopping.
Evelyn burst into tears.
You dont love me, you chose your wife!
Emily, what does she have to do with this? Tom snapped. This is my decision.
I didnt take anyone away. Tom is my husband, not yours.
You dare! Evelyn shouted. I raised him! Who are you?
Im his wife, and this is my flat. I get to decide who lives here.
Youre heartless! Youre throwing an old lady out!
You have a twobedroom flat in the city centre. Youre not homeless.
Its freezing! The radiators barely work!
Call a plumber or buy a heater.
On what money? My pension is peanuts!
Tom will help financially, right?
He nodded.
Evelyn sobbed and fled to the bedroom. I turned to Tom.
Thank you.
No problem, he said tiredly. Youre right. We cant live like this.
The next few days Evelyn threw tantrums, blamed me for everything, and Tom helped move her things out. Eventually she left, the flat became quiet and spacious again. My mum stayed in the old bedroom, Tom and I reclaimed the sofa and the kitchen.
How good it feels, I sighed, lying in my own bed. Finally home.
My mums upset, Tom said, staring at the ceiling. She says she wont talk to me anymore.
Dont worry. Shell come round.
What if she doesnt?
You did the right thing. Were a team, were married.
I know, but I feel sorry for her. Shes really lonely.
Maybe we visit her more often. Help her out, but we keep our space.
A week later Evelyn hadnt called. Tom tried her number, got no answer, started to worry.
Emily, should we go see her?
Go ahead. Ill stay with mum.
He returned two hours later, looking pale. Shes looking thin, not eating, not sleeping.
Is she manipulating us?
I dont know, but she looks genuinely ill.
I thought about it.
Tom, I get that its hard, but we cant bring her back in here.
I know. What if we hire a carer?
Itll cost, though.
But its cheaper than our nerves and the strain on our marriage.
We found a kind woman in her fifties who would come three times a week for a reasonable fee. Evelyn accepted it, still not speaking to me but at least talking to Tom. He visited her every Saturday, helped with groceries and a bit of repair work.
My mum grew stronger and, after a month, moved back to her own flat. The house felt roomy again.
How great, I whispered to Tom, hugging him. Just us.
Yes, thank you for standing up for us, he said, pulling me close. Im sorry I didnt protect you from the start.
The important thing is you chose right in the end.
I love my mum, but I love you more. My mum was always my world, but now youre my present and future.
He kissed my forehead. Wise lady.
I rested my head on his shoulder. The whole hallwaything now seemed distant and absurd, but it taught me to set boundaries, to defend my home, to not shy away from conflict.
A few months later Evelyn called out of the blue.
Emily, its me.
Hello, Evelyn.
I I wanted to apologise for the hallway incident. I was wrong, I was scared youd forget me.
I was silent, surprised.
Im sorry.
Thank you for saying that.
Id like to come over for tea with Tom, I baked a cake.
Well be there.
I hung up, smiling. Maybe the ice was finally cracking. We might never be best friends, but at least were not enemies.
That night I told Tom everything. He wrapped his arms around me.
Thanks for not giving up, for protecting our home. I couldnt have done it alone.
You just needed time to see things.
Seeing that a wife matters more than a mother?
Not more, just different. Mother is the past, wife is the present and future.
He kissed my forehead. Youre brilliant.
I snuggled into him. The upstairs hallway episode now felt far away, but it had made me stronger, taught me to value my own space and stand up for it.
If youve been in a similar bind with a motherinlaw, share how you solved it. Like if the story helped, and stay tuned for more.
