Why do you even need me? James whispered, his voice echoing through the dim hallway. Please, Emily, let me go We tried to build a life together, but it fell apart. Why keep hurting each other? Lets just divorce?
Now! he snapped, a grin cutting his face. Dreaming again, are you? I wont let you. Youre my wife, Im your husband, were a family. Is life hard for you? Have you fallen out of love? Or do you have someone else? Answer when I ask!
Emily perched on the edge of the sofa, fingers trembling as they toyed with the fringe of a blanket. After another clash with James, she yearned to evaporate, to vanish from his world forever. She could have simply walked out, but the courage to file for divorce was missing. Two years of marriage now felt like a nightmarish reverie, the last six months especially oppressiveJames had turned into a merciless household tyrant, inventing fresh reasons to belittle her each day.
This morning began with a harmlesslooking incident. Emily ordered a new face cream online.
Spending money on nonsense again? Jamess voice boomed as she stepped through the front door with the parcel.
She tried to explain, but James heard only his own anger.
Do you ever think about us? Or just about yourself, dear? he barked. Why waste money on a cream? Put it toward something usefullike helping my parents.
James, why jump to that? I work, I have my own earnings. I always help your parents, you know that.
What are you doing? Sending them pennies! They need real help, understand? Youre selfish, Emily. All you do is splash every penny you earn on fancy lotions and trinkets!
His voice thundered, his eyes flashing. Emily burst into tears. James slammed the door, leaving her alone with her sobs and a crushing sense of powerlessness. He always did thispush her to the brink, then disappear.
Emily remembered how it had started. James had seemed perfect: attentive, caring, loving. Gradually, something shifted, or perhaps she had never truly seen him at all.
That evening James returned. Emily sat at the kitchen table, sipping tea.
Crying again? he asked without looking up.
No you just hurt me
I hurt you? Youre the one at fault. Think about what you do.
What am I doing wrong? she whispered.
Everything! You dont try. I work all day, Im exhausted, and you? You type away half the day, sit around the house!
I work too, not less than you, Emily replied, then immediately regretted it.
Whats your job? A few pennies? Im the one who provides for the family. You should be grateful, Emily. Ive never heard a thankyou in all our years together, even though Ive earned it!
Im grateful, James but that doesnt give you the right to speak to me like that.
How am I supposed to speak to you? Youre always unhappy, always crying! Why make me a monster?
James youre constantly dissatisfied. Im scared to say a word, scared to buy anything, scared even to rest after lunch. If you find out, youll start shouting! My mind isnt steel; I cant control myself any longer
Stop whining! You always play the victim. It makes me sick! His disgust was so palpable Emily felt physical pain.
I dont understand whats happening, she whispered, why are you like this?
Just behave, dont anger me, and everything will be fine.
She looked at him. No warmth, no love remained in his eyesonly irritation.
Maybe we should talk? See a counselor? she suggested.
A counselor? You need one, not me. Youre the one who invents problems out of thin air.
Those words cemented her resolve. James ate hastily, turned on the telly, and she pulled out an old notebook, beginning to draft an escape plan. Every detail had to be thought through.
The next day Emily left the house earlier than usual. She drifted into a quiet café on a misty Camden lane, hoping the silence would untangle her thoughts. She ordered a coffee, opened the notebook, and scribbled:
Step one: find parttime workmore money than now. Step two: rent a small flat or a room. Step three: gather my belongings. Step four
Emily? a familiar voice called. She lifted her eyes to see her former schoolmate, Lucy, beaming across the room.
Lucy! What a coincidence!
Its been ages, Lucy smiled. What brings you here? Working?
No, just needed a place to think, Emily replied evasively.
You look off. Something happened? Feeling ill?
Emily had not heard such gentle concern in years. She hadnt told her parents, fearing to upset them, while Jamess friends had subtly nudged her away. Overwhelmed, she broke down.
Lucy, Im in a terrible spot. James torments me, constantly criticises and humiliates me. I cant bear it any longer. Im scared hell raise his hand in a fight sometimes he even threatens me.
Lucy listened, offering no interruption.
I want to leave him, Lucy! I really do! But Im terrified. I dont know where to start. How will I survive?
Run, Emily! I wont let you stay alone. Come stay with me for a while. Do you remember my address? And dont be shy about asking for help. There are free counselling services for women escaping abusive partners.
I never knew about those, Emily admitted.
Now you do. And most of all, believe in yourself. Youre strong, youll get through this.
Later, after work, they met again. Two hours of conversation left Emily feeling transformed, as if a new version of herself had emerged.
That night, when she returned home, James was already waiting in the armchair, eyes glued to the television.
Where have you been? he asked without turning.
Out, Emily replied.
Youre out a lot these days. Got a lover?
A cold shiver ran down her spine.
What are you saying? she protested.
What? I wouldnt be surprised if you were seeing someone. Youre quite the sprinter.
James, enough, Emily said wearily, I dont want to hear this any longer.
What do you want to hear? Compliments? Youll have to manage without them.
Taking a deep breath, Emily steadied herself.
James, we need to talk.
About what? My infidelities?
No. About us. About our marriage.
And what now?
I want a divorce.
Jamess eyes widened.
What did you say?
I said I want a divorce. I cant live like this. You constantly demean and criticize me. Im unhappy beside you.
Youve gone mad! Divorce? Who will you be without me? No one! You should be grateful I even let you stay in my house.
I owe nothing to anyone. I want to be happy.
Happy? You think youll be happy without me? Youre wrong. Youre worthless. Do you understand?
Emily stayed silent. She no longer wanted to argue; she had already decided.
Im leaving tomorrow, she said calmly.
Where will you go? Youre penniless! James shouted.
Thats none of your business. Ill manage.
I wont let you live! James roared, Ill find you, make you regret ever being born! Ive given you everything, brought you into society, and you
Emily turned without a word and walked toward the bedroom, gathering what she could.
James spent the night on the sofa. In the dark, Emily lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thoughts spiralling like storm clouds. She feared the future, feared being alone, feared never finding happiness again. Most of all, she dreaded staying with James.
At dawn she rose, washed her face, dressed, and slipped into the kitchen. James was already sipping coffee.
You wont go anywhere, he warned. Dont even think of running while Im at work!
Ive already decided, Emily replied.
I wont allow it!
Enough, James
You dont understand what Im saying!
James rose, looming over her. Fear clenched Emilys heart.
Dont come near me, she begged. James, step back!
He shoved her against the wall. Her head struck the plaster, she fell to the floor. The man she once loved raised his fist. Emily closed her eyes, bracing for the worst.
A sudden clatter of footsteps filled the hallway. Earlymorning cries had drawn the vigilant neighbours, who called the police. Officers burst in, pulling Emily to safety and whisking her to the hospital. Once discharged, she filed for divorce without hesitation; the marriage lay shattered, a broken dream dissolved in the pale light of morning.
