Loneliness
Mrs. Blake sat across the table, the solicitor handed her a marriage proposal, and she turned it down. It seemed better to remain single than to accept a freeofcharge service that promised a life of endless summer.
Whats the use of being alone, Emily? the solicitor asked. A man should never be on his own, and a woman should always have a man beside her. Otherwise it feels wrong and no one will ever look at you. Do you know what loneliness is?
Whats that? Emily replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she stared at the empty plate in front of her.
Loneliness is a hollow echo! scoffed Margaret, her motherinlaw, flashing a smile that hid any genuine feeling. Its when you wish you could pour water for someone else, but the children youre supposed to care for are nowhere in sight.
Where? Emily asked, trying not to laugh.
Where where In Yorkshire! the old lady finally managed, realizing that her own laughter was a veil over a cracked heart. Margarets eyes widened as she saw the hurt in Emilys stare. Youll have to endure everything, and Ill keep watching over you. Its a heavy burden to bear alone, but the soul can be as light as a feather. Lets get to know each other, shall we? John is a decent fellow, but the one who never stops moving and quickly runs away
Emily had been in a relationship for about ten years. Her beloved, whom she called the good one, had left her ten years earlier, slamming the door behind him with a resounding thud. Hed left once, and then never returned. When Emily learned of his departure, she threw herself into a new marriage, first with a twobedroom flat in a city centre, then into a twobedroom house with a garden. Though her husband tried to convince her that once is enough and nothing strange happens without a reason, he banged his fists against a wall and wept weak, manly tears. Emily remained unshaken. The divorce went ahead.
The husband approached the matter gently, leaving the garden to his former wife and two children in the care of a nanny. The kids grew up and scattered in different directions. Their son settled in Manchester, working in a factory. Their daughter soon married and moved abroad with her husband. Emily was left alone in a cramped tworoom flat in the heart of London.
Living alone didnt embarrass her. She found work as a receptionist, a decent profession that paid the bills, and she settled into a modest routine, often entertaining her children and Margaret for tea. Though she wasnt academically brilliant, she always kept herself busy and never grew bored. She read a lot, swam, took yoga classes, loved traveling, and occasionally joined weekend trips with friends. In short, she lived a contented life.
Until the day when Margaret began to interfere with Emilys destiny
Listen to me, Emily, Margaret said, leaning forward. A decent man, not too old, maybe sixtyone. Youve been apart for seven years. A big, comfortable house, wellkept, with a proper estate. Cows, goats, pigs, and chickensno shortage of food! Milk, eggs, meat. Youll live a healthy life, I promise. A modest farm, a little garden, a bit of honey. If you stay for a hundred years, youll be a fool! And the man is pleasant, educated, and wellread. So try, at least give it a go. Lets meet, shall we? Margaret pleaded, her voice trembling as Emily hesitated.
Very well, Margaret, Ill meet your friendyour gardener, Emily replied dryly. But I promised nothing.
Business never changes, Margaret muttered, echoing an old proverb. And Margaret didnt let the matter linger; she quickly arranged a meeting between herself, Emily, and the gentleman.
The gentleman turned out to be nothing more than a modest fellow. Sturdy, muscular, dressed neatly, his hands were rough yet clean, his nails wellkept. He spoke quietly, but his voice carried weight. He didnt waste words; he was a joker who made the house echo with laughter. His name sounded distinctly EnglishHenry.
After the first encounter, Henry lingered in Emilys thoughts. She began to watch him, wondering if the right soul might finally appear. Henry, however, kept his distance, hinting at a future together.
Emily wrote to Henry, inviting him to visit, promising a cup of tea and a biscuit. He replied politely, stating he owned a small plot of land where cows grazed, goats bleated, and chickens clucked. The farm was modest, with a few workerstwo locals of Asian descent. Henrys ventures didnt end there; he sold meat, milk, and occasionally honey. Emily sensed that she might become part of Henrys business, too. He told her:
See, Emily, I have a lot of work. I need a partner to help. The workers are good. As the saying goes, if you want something done well, do it yourself. Youll be the wife, and you wont miss a thing; youll handle everything. The cows need milking, the goats need tending, the chicken eggs need collecting. And the house will be empty without a ladys touch! Ill certainly die, but the womans hand and eye will be better than any mans. Lets go ahead, shall we? Spring is coming, and the crops need planting. The chickens await.
Emily went home, deep in thought. What did she truly need? She owned a small garden in the city, a modest job, a modest cottage where in summer she grew herbs, and in winter she tended a fire. She had a car she bought eight years ago. Where would she go? To the countryside, to a farm, to clean pens, to care for pigs, goats, and chickens? She still had to prepare lunch for her husband, shop for groceries, and keep the house tidy. Of course, the income from this venture would be decent, but she still lived modestly. Her pension would cover her expenses, and she had a small savings pot.
All of this was necessary, not just for a comfortable life, but for Emilys peace of mind. As the years passed, she wondered if she should bend her back to the garden, bake a loaf, and run up two flights of stairswas that what she truly wanted? By evening, Emily called Margaret.
Margaret, dont be upset. Im sorry, but Ill decline Johns proposal to marry him. Some men are hardworking, but I dont need that. He never showed any kindness, Margaret. Hes not just looking for a wife, hes looking for labour. Ill stay in my solitude. And as for the water, not everyone wants to drink it anyway
After a long while, Margarets voice faded, and Emily wept a silent tear for the man who had once been a cavalry officer. Yet, under the influence of Margarets promise that they would never meet again, Emily smiled. She vowed not to chase after men who offered no true companionship.
Emily then sent a message to Henry, explaining that she no longer wanted to meet, that her desires had changed, and that the circumstances had shifted away from his advantage. Henry tried calling her a few days later, but the line went dead. He realized he had been out of touch. He was a clever man, after all. Emily rose at eight in the morning, made a quick breakfast, brushed her teeth, and sat down for a cup of coffee with a biscuit. She looked out the window, remembering the children she hadnt seen in years, thinking she should visit her son, and perhaps call her daughter for her birthday. She also needed to buy a new bag for the precious coat she owned. She planned to call Lena, the neighborhood doctor, to set up an appointment.
She also reflected that being a bit selfish was not always bad. A healthy dose of selfinterest could be useful. She thought about how a little egoism could keep her safe and independent.
In the end, Emily understood that loneliness is not a curse but a chance to know oneself. She learned that companionship does not have to come from a partner; it can be found in work, friends, and in the quiet moments of selfcare. She realized that the true lesson of her journey was to value her own company, to cherish the independence she had built, and to recognise that a fulfilled life is measured not by the presence of another, but by the peace one feels within.
