12March
I sat at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of the afternoons chaos. Margaret Whitfield, my motherinlaw, had just marched into the living room with a stern look. James, Emily, you both need to come over this weekend, she said, and give the windows a good wash and beat the carpets clean!
Emily smirked, Thats an interesting proposal, but Ill have to decline.
Emily, whats the matter? I asked, bewildered. Your mother needs help!
No, she doesnt! she snapped, wiping the smile from her face.
How can you say no? I stammered, feeling even more lost. Shes your mother!
Emily shot back, James, weve been married nine years. Do you seriously think Im questioning my sanity?
I wasnt I just meant to point toward your mother, I muttered, pointing helplessly at Margaret.
Dont try to explain why a mother is a mother, she snapped.
Why wouldnt we help your mother if she asks for help? I asked.
Did you even hear a hint of a request in her words? Emily retorted. She told us what must be done! She expects us to do it!
Yes, she expects! Margaret cried. Youre my daughter, and hes my soninlaw! A soninlaws duty is smaller, but a daughter I gave birth to you, so you cant abandon your mother in a tough spot!
Emily sighed, I can.
And what kind of daughter are you then? Margaret demanded.
Exactly like you, Mother! Emily retorted sharply.
Emily, have some shame! James shouted. How can you speak to your own mother so harshly?
I have every moral right to, Emily said. If you dont know everything, I wouldnt raise my voice at my own wife!
I tried to keep a straight face. Maybe I dont know it all, but a mother deserves respect. Parents need help, and you shouldnt be rude. I turned to Margaret. Mrs. Whitfield, forgive us for Emilys outburst. Well come over at the weekend and sort everything.
No, we wont! Emily hammered her fist on the table.
Fine, then Ill go alone, I said, trying to calm the situation. I stepped into the role of the head of the household and decided to handle it myself.
If you go to her, you might never return home, Emily warned, turning away.
Yes, Margaret murmured, my daughter is just wonderful.
Emily spun toward her mother. And why didnt you ask Zoe to wash the windows and beat the carpets for you?
Whos Zoe? I asked.
You were told you know nothing! Emily snapped. Zoe is my sister, my own blood!
Its not that she didnt ask you, Emily continued, why dont you ask her yourself, Mother? Does she owe you because shes your own flesh and blood?
I looked at Margaret, who blushed but said nothing.
Whats the matter, mum? Emily teased. Lost your voice? Cant find the words? Let me help you, before James gets lost in his guesses!
Emily went on, Mum never asked Zoe because Zoe sent Mum away long ago, when she got married six years back. That was when my own mother decided to reenter the life of her other daughter. You met her then, remember?
I managed a weak smile. Ah, right. No one ever mentioned her until she turned up six years ago. I thought you didnt have a mother at all.
Emily laughed, Your attention was missing! She appeared out of nowhere, and you never asked why!
I was about to, I just got distracted, I admitted.
Do you want me to tell you the whole story? Emily asked eagerly.
No! Not now! Margaret shouted.
What happened, Mum? Embarrassed? Did your conscience wake up?
Its none of his business! Emily declared. It doesnt concern him that hes supposed to wash windows and beat carpets.
She pressed on, I want him to understand why Im refusing.
***
When parents split, the children suffer first. The trauma is inevitable, but reasonable parents can soften the blow. Arrangements for visits should be made, and old arguments left behind. Children will always see their parents as the ones they loved, even if they cant fully grasp why they no longer live together. Even if two people no longer wish to be together, they should at least keep a civil relationship for the sake of the child.
Emilys parents never bothered with such questions; they just wanted to part ways.
I wont be paying child support, Margaret declared.
Im not demanding it, but the law says otherwise, Robert, the father, replied.
I dont care! If they try to take anything from my salary, theyll get it from me! Margaret snapped.
Right, youre splitting up! Those are the childrens money! Robert retorted.
Then youre the one who should provide for them! Margaret shouted.
But theyre yours too! Parental responsibility is shared equally!
I refuse to hear any of it! Not about you, not about the kids, not about support! Margaret waved her arms in fury.
Tell the judge! Robert shouted.
Their divorce was set to start in two days, but it was far from ordinary. Margaret abandoned not only her husband but also her two daughters, aged eight and ten, caring little for how they would survive without her. The only thing that bothered her was the prospect of having to pay alimony.
If things had gone well, Robert could have avoided the payments; he earned a decent wage. Yet, seeing his exwife manage the children with someone elses help did not sit well with him. He hoped to pull the older daughter away from what he saw as a hysterical mother.
Margaret, however, played a clever hand. She coaxed tenyearold Zoe to claim she wanted to live with her mother, knowing that Zoe adored her and had adopted her mannerisms. The judge placed the younger daughter with Robert and the older with Margaret.
In court, Robert received a single, cold line: I told you I wont pay you anything. He said nothing more, though he knew he still bore responsibility for the child left with Margaret. Zoe, under her mothers influence, repeated everything she had been fed. The judges decision left Robert with one daughter and a weight he could not shake.
Months later, Robert tried to meet Zoe, but Margaret blocked him. When he attempted to catch her near the building entrance, she was sent away so far that he felt ashamed to meet any passerby.
Emily never heard from her mother or sister for twenty years and, oddly enough, did not mourn them. She grew up with a loving father, who poured his heart into raising her. She could proudly say shed had a happy childhood, a wonderful youth, and now a content adult life. She never felt abandoned or shortchanged by the absence of a mother, even a stepmother.
Emily completed her studies, got a profession, married, and had a child of her own. A good, happy lifewhat many dream of. She never imagined her mother would one day appear at her doorstep as if theyd only been apart for a week. The sudden reunion stunned her; she let her mother in, introduced her to her husband, and even presented her to her grandson as grandma. The conversation was ordinaryupdates on recent troubles and daytoday matters. When they finally partied, Emily only later realised how absurd the whole situation was. She called her father straight away.
Ive never told you anything about hergood or bad. I wont now either, Robert said. I raised you to be clever. Figure out why shes back and what she truly wants.
The only thing I can tell you is that I divorced her twenty years ago, but I wont rule out that she might have changed, he added.
I wasnt expecting any other answer, Emily replied. Thanks, Dad.
If you need anything, just call. Robert encouraged. He didnt believe Margaret could ever improve, but he kept quiet. After the call, Emily felt calmer; her father always had a soothing effect on her. With that peace, she began to think.
Searching for people twenty or thirty years ago could be a nightmare; today its a trifle. The internet leaves a trail for anyone. The skill to look is what matters. Emily worked as a software developer and could search with such efficiency that even the authorities would be jealous.
She learned little about her mother beyond the basics: two marriages, a divorce from her father, two childrenEmily and Zoe. When Emily pressed for details, her father gave only vague ages. Margaret held more information, but she shared it like an interrogationbits and pieces that could also be gleaned from a stranger.
Studied, worked, married, moved in with her husband
The rest turned out simple. Emily discovered that Zoe had trained as a geography teacher, a profession offered by only two colleges in their city. Emily joined the alumni groups, found Zoe online, and arranged a meeting.
Youre being drawn in, Zoe said confidently. No surpriseshe cant do it alone! She needs a victim!
Who? Emily asked, confused.
A victim, Zoe laughed. Someone shell cling to with any excuse, making them dance to her tune. I didnt just get married; I fled from her!
Who was ready to take me as a wife and then snatch me back? Thats the one! Zoe warned. Send her far away and dont look back. Shell lie so much youll never keep up, and youll end up blamed.
Emily left the meeting thoughtful. The only conclusion she drew:
Forewarned is forearmed.
If a mother craves contact, shell get it. If she oversteps, shell meet a fitting response. Its funny, but for six years Margaret was satisfied with simple chats and occasional small favors to neighbours. Zoe added a warning:
If you ever give her a slip, consider yourself caught in her web. Shell torment you until you lose your mind. Shes driven two stepfathers to the brink just to steal their assets.
Emily didnt wait forever, but she did wait long enough.
Eventually, Emily pressed her father for the whole story hed witnessed. He finally relented after Emily mentioned her conversation with Zoe. When the full picture was assembled, she waited for her moment.
James sat slackjawed, staring at his motherinlaw. He could hardly believe what hed heard. Yet Margarets reaction proved Emily was telling the truth. The woman froze, her flushed face and beads of sweat betraying that she was still human, not a statue.
Are you still willing to go to her and work? Emily asked.
James shook his head.
Alright, Emily said, turning to her mother. Mum, if you want a decent human relationship, even though you dont deserve it, I wont deny you. But any more talk about what I owe you, Ill throw it out the window and never let you back in.
Do you dare! Margaret shrieked. Im your mother!
Everythings clear! Emily spread her arms. No one forced you to speak! Off you go! If you come back, Ill file a police report for harassment.
Margarets eyes widened.
What are we sitting here for? Need a leg? I can help with a magical kick to the door!
She stood up straight, as if a spine had been restored. Trying to keep her dignity, she walked toward the door. Emily couldnt hold back: Run, you w!
Margaret huffed, Im done with you!
James muttered, She sure ran fast.
Emily shrugged, What did she want? She vanished for twenty years and now acts like shes owed me something. She even pretended Id kicked her out with my feet!
James tried, Well, mum
Emily cut in, On paper youre my mother, but in reality youre a stranger.
And that was the end of it.
Lesson learned: family ties can be tangled, but respect and boundaries are what keep us from being trampled under the weight of others expectations.
