«Where do you think you’re going?» I asked, halfshouting. «What are you up to, anyway?»
James’s sudden bark snapped Emily out of her morning doze. She propped herself up on the narrow guestroom bed, ears straining for any sound beyond the thin wall. For the past two weeks she’d been crashing at her older brother Jamess flat while she hunted for a job and a place of her own in Manchester. The move had been a pain, but there wasnt much choice her hometown offered no prospects.
A sharp baby wail cut through the flat. Fourmonthold Harry had woken up after his parents argument. Emily winced, sat on the edge of the bed, and tugged her dressing gown tighter.
«Got an interview,» Lena, Jamess wife, called out faintly from the kitchen.
«An interview? Are you serious?» James shouted back, voice rising. «Youve got a newborn! What job are you talking about? Your place is here, with the baby!»
Emily waited for Lenas reply, but the flat fell silent except for Harrys continued cries. Then the front door slammed shut. Lena was gone.
Emily slipped out of the room and headed for the kitchen. James stood in the middle of it, looking bewildered as he bounced the squalling infant in his arms. His face was a mix of anger and helplessness.
«Always the same story,» he muttered when he saw Emily. «She drops the kid and runs off to her own stuff.»
Quietly, Emily took her nephew from James. Harry gradually settled, burying his cheek against her shoulder. James sank heavily onto a chair, rubbing his face with his palms.
«Lena’s lost her mind,» James kept on, staring into empty space. «How can she leave a little one and think about work? At least Ive got a holiday now, so I can watch Harry.»
Emily rocked the drowsy baby, mulling over his words.
«James, maybe you should talk to Lena calmly, without shouting,» Emily suggested gently. «She might have some issues. Postnatal depression is common. She could need professional help.»
James waved her off like a fly.
«Depression? No way! Lena’s always been a free spirit, a careerchaser. I hoped she’d settle down after the baby, become a proper mum. She doesnt seem to be changing at all. Who cares about the child?»
Emily wanted to argue but stayed quiet. Harry finally fell asleep, and she carefully laid him in his cot.
Lena didnt return until evening. Emily was just tucking Harry in when she heard the lock click. The sisterinlaw passed the nursery without a glance, then slipped into the kitchen to make herself a quiet dinner. James sat on the sofa, glued to the telly, ignoring her.
The atmosphere in the flat became unbearable. Emily rushed back to her room and dialed her mum.
«Mum, you wont believe what’s happening,» she whispered, recounting the days events.
Her mother sighed heavily on the other end.
«Darling, Lenas been like that since the baby arrived. James has complained to me more than once. It seems her maternal instinct never switched on. Poor boy, hes having a tough time. I cant even imagine how a baby feels with a missing mother he senses everything.»
Emily lay in bed for hours after that, trying to make sense of it all. She remembered Lena before she was pregnant: sweet, kind, always ready to lend a hand. James was head over heels for her. Now there was this icy distance from her own child and husband. Something was seriously off.
Lena kept disappearing for whole days, leaving James alone with Harry. He would take the baby to the shops, on walks, trying to juggle childcare and chores. Emily helped where she could, but she knew this couldnt go on forever.
A week later Lena walked back in, eyes oddly bright. For the first time since shed moved in, Emily actually saw a hint of a smile.
«Ive got a job,» Lena announced over dinner.
James froze midspoon, his face turning a shade of red.
«Youve got to be kidding!» he barked. «Youve got a fourmonthold! You should be looking after him, not hopping off to an office!»
«This is my life,» Lena replied coldly.
James sprang up.
«You selfish thing! All you think about is yourself! Thats not right! Youre a mother, you belong with the baby!»
Emily watched Lena retreat into the bedroom, shutting herself off. They never saw her again that night.
The next day Emily and James took Harry for a walk in the park. James pushed the pram and kept whining.
«See how she treats him? Hes her own son and she acts like she doesnt care,» James grumbled, eyeing the sleeping baby. «She never picks him up extra, never kisses, never hugs. What mother is she? Not a mother at all, a cuckoo!»
Emily stayed quiet, not sure what to say. She felt sorry for James, but something inside told her the story was more tangled than it looked.
When they got back home a couple of hours later, the flat was eerily quiet. Emily flicked the hallway light on.
«Lena? Are you home?» she called.
Silence. She padded through the roomsempty kitchen, empty lounge. James, still holding Harry, headed toward the bedroom. Emily heard James gulp sharply and rushed after him.
He stood in front of an open wardrobe, half the shelves bare. Lenas things were gone.
«Shes gone» James exhaled hoarsely.
He slumped onto the bed, still cradling his son, his shoulders trembling.
«Ungrateful!» he shouted. «After everything Ive done for her! I gave her the flat, love, marriage, a child! And she just walks out!»
Emily sat beside him, trying to soothe him. Inside her, a bad feeling tightened.
«James, what could have driven her to do that? Tell me honestly what went on between you two.»
James lifted his reddened eyes to her, then fell silent, gathering his thoughts.
«The pregnancy was a surprise,» he finally managed. «Lena didnt want a baby. She said she wasnt ready, wanted to focus on her career. I pushed, told her we were both thirtysomething, it was time to settle, have a family. She gave in. But after birth she never loved him. I hoped motherly feelings would wake up, that shed bond with the kid. She just drifted further away.»
Emily stared, her eyes wide. The picture shed built of Lena shattered in an instant. Shed thought it was just a temperament issue, a bit of stubbornness. The truth was darker: Lena had been forced into a child she never wanted.
«James» Emily could barely get the words out.
A few days later Jamess holiday ended. He went back to work, effectively dumping Harrys care onto Emily. She didnt mind the little one wasnt to blame for his parents mess.
A week passed. One morning James burst in, waving a stack of papers.
«Shes filing for divorce!» he shouted. «And she wants to give up parental rights on Harry! She said on the phone, If I wanted the kid, Ill look after him myself. Ive got a job, a flat, I can manage. She doesnt want any of this!»
Emily rocked Harry in silence, absorbing Jamess tirade. Each day she understood Lena a little more.
The following week Emily was essentially on her own with the baby. James would come home, eat dinner, then collapse on the couch. Weekends he napped or watched telly. All the rest fell to Emily. She began to see why Lena had fled. James did nothing at home, never helped, only demanded.
Finally, Emily got good news shed landed a job. She found a modest onebedroom flat not far from the office. She was ready to move out of that house. James didnt take it well.
«Youre abandoning us too! What about Harry? Wholl look after him? How can you just leave?»
Emily met his stare calmly. She knew it would sting him, but she had to repeat Lenas words.
«You wanted the child, James. Now look after him yourself. Stop passing the responsibility onto others.»
Emily stood in her new flat, arranging her things on the shelves. The quiet wrapped around her like a warm blanket after weeks of baby cries and Jamess shouting. She pulled out a photograph from a boxa childhood picture of her and James, both grinning. She ran a finger over it, thinking about how even the closest people can turn out to be selfish. Her brother, once a hero in her eyes, turned out to be selfcentered, breaking his wifes life. And Lena, everyone had judged, was simply protecting herself.
She placed the photo on a shelf and turned away. A fresh start lay ahead. Her own life, finally.
